May 30, 2011

just barely a few minutes ago my comp and i had a really tough experience so i am a bit out of it right now. earlier this week her and i passed for marisols house only to find out that she had been hospitalized because she attempted suicide. we paniced and called our zone leaders to see if we could run and visit her at the hospital that is just outside our area and luckily they let us go. we walked there with her daughter and she told us that there had been major problems at home with her husbund and it drove her to the edge and she took ten of her husbunds pills, blood pressure or sleeping, cant remember which. she told us that taking two of them can be deadly so she was rushed to the hospital. she looked awful when we got there and was barely concious, just enough to know that we were there, so we sat there with her for a bit and then left. we kept in contact with her daughter to see how she was doing and she said alright but that she was moved to the psych ward of the the hospital. we saw marisols mom, who is a member of a different ward, at the steak conference yesterday ( or when a bunch of different wards or congregations all get together for a bigger conference) she told us that marisol kept asking for us and said that she needed us to go by, so we decided to do that this morning. when we got to the hospital they almost didnt let us go in, they said they dont let people of religious groups visit people in the psych ward, but then told us that one could go in for one minute and just see how she was. well thats not possible, we told them we are a packaged deal, cant really leave eachother, so they let us both go for a minute. marisol was outside with her mom, who was drinking mate, and marisol was just looking straight down at the ground, she looked completely empty of any life. i felt like i was watching a movie for a minute, i didnt know or hadnt experienced this really happening. so we went up and i tried talking to her while my comp talked to her mom, she just mumbled response, but was expressionless. so then i put my hand on her leg and tried talking to her again and she responded a bit better, but still expressionless, staring at the ground. we got her moms information to contact her and we had to hurry out before they got mad at us for being there too long so i hugged marisol and we both couldnt hold in the tears, she wouldnt let me go. then the same happened when my companion hugged her. satan has a grip on her and is dragging her down, she is literally suffering from a broken heart. her mom told us that the doctors said she is suffering so much ¨angustia,¨ which means more than just anguish, that her heart is not functioning properly, she has sunk into a deep depression. i cant explain how i feel, i feel helpless, its the most helpless i think i have felt, i just want to help her. i do know that God will take care of her, no matter what happens, and that she knows that one day she will rest of her afflicions in this life.

well i am sorry, its about all i can think about right now but i will give you a brief summary. we had a tough week, had to drop a few of the people we were teaching, but at the same time it was wonderful, we are super blessed to have met some of the most amazing humble people to teach that are progressing. Jesus, is doing wonderful, he is such an example of faith to me, faith that through his example his wife will join him in this happiness he has found. every prayer he offers with us at the end of lessons leads him to tears. he is really excited for his baptism in a few weeks. as well i dont know if i have ever told you about Juan Carlos that we have been teaching for several weeks now. he is another example of great faith and complying with the will of God. he is always ready to take on what we leave for him to do. he told my companion something really sweet yesterday in church, that many missionaries have passed by their house but that he felt urged to listen for the first time when we passed by. makes me so happy to know that there really are people that God has prepared for my companion and i, and the same is true for other missionaries, they will touch the hearts and teach the gospel to people that i couldnt reach on that level. he will be baptized with jesus in a few weeks as well.

we had a wonderful steak conference with a general authority of the church as the main speaker yesterday. Elder Arnold spoke and his message was amazing. he talked about a personal near death experience that he had that led him to realize the important things in life; such as his family and the gospel, and how this experience put a new take on life for him, that the material things really dont matter, that is not what we will be taking to heaven with us. this life is the time for us to learn, to progress and to become more like our Savior. It reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures that is found in the first chapter in Matthew that tells us to put our tresures in the things of heaven.

well what more is there to say but how much i love you!!!!!! i love you soooooo much!!!!! i got your packages and am super excited to open them, they both came. well i hope you have a fabulous week and incase you already forgot....... I LOVE YOU!!!!!! -Jess